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Submitted on
November 14, 2012
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Holding the egg with the unborn savior, I have walked along the aisles to align myself with the bones of priests. The burning flame in the tower has captured the brass glow of the evening light, helplessly clinging to the empty altar.

The light of Heaven trickles through the veil of the sky. I have reflected the slanted rays with a stained mirror.

Somewhere within the glacier is my twin, melting the endless layers with her heart.

One of the trees was painted by the Moon.
Two of the birds swallowed the stars.
Three of the branches have grown together.
The four corners of the forest joined.

Five of the disciples came here.
Six of the eggs were cracked open,
From the seventh, you came.
Eight-winged child of Earth,
Nine times denied,
Held for the first time.
"Our Lady, Star of the Sea is an ancient title for the Virgin Mary, mother of Jesus Christ. The title was used to emphasize Mary's role as a sign of hope and as a guiding star for Christians, especially gentiles, whom the Old Testament Israelites metaphorically referred to as the sea. Under this title, the Virgin Mary is believed to intercede as a guide and protector of those who travel or seek their livelihoods on the sea."

Inspired by the song by Moby, Stella Maris:
[link] and medieval mysticism.
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I was prepared to use some discretion before fav'ing , but this is really good. The kalidescopic, shifting images of the first part - I had to read it three times, just to see them in my mind. The spell/invocation that follows- it reminds me of parts of the Kalevala -has an interesting sound progression- soft and gentle in the first four lines, then almost triumphantly harsh in the final declaration. Interesting link, I haven't heard of him before.
tulinuotio Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks a lot. It feels really good getting these haunting images out there somehow. I indeed plagiarized the idea of the eggs from the beginning of Kalevala - there the different egg was made of iron and from it hatched the Underworld I think (a sacred material for ancient Finns). I just thought it was such a minor reference not worthy of mentioning in the comments, but left for the adept reader. I think it's great that you recognized it.

By the way, do you think I could've expressed the things in the first part with clearer syntax, perhaps? I know the sentence starting with "the burning flames..." may be a little obscure. I thought about the brass domes of Orthodox churches that symbolize the flame of fervent prayer. The "helplessly turning around the empty altar" was a condensation of many images, but it ended up as an impression of perhaps something missing in the place of worship - something born from mysteries (the egg, another Orthodox symbol) each time.

Moby has some extremely melancholic stuff. You may have accidentally heard him on the radio, I'd believe, but hardly any of his instrumental songs.
The only suggestion - and it's extremely minor- would be if you used 'capture'- present tense,and 'reflect', ditto, in the line that follows. It's not that it's more correct, just gives a different feeling which may not be what you intended.
I like your work; if you ever want to get published, look me up: [link]
tulinuotio Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks. I will take a look at the details and think of it. :)
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